Are you there Walt Disney? It's me, Margaret

Like absinthe and Fruity Pebbles, or Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, there are certain pairings that just don't seem quite right together. How about this one – menstruation, and the man who brought you flying elephants and dancing hippos. Well, back in the late 40s Walt Disney, in cahoots with Kotex products, created what might very well be the strangest entry in their library, The Story of Menstruation. (Am I alone in wondering if a biological process can be said to have a story?) Clearly made to be shown in schools, this ten minute marvel must have been what the girls got to see while the boys were shown such classics as "The Story of Wood" or "Why does it hurt down there?" Though factually there's nothing incorrect, it is odd that the film all but avoids the topic of reproduction, save for the cryptic-without-context mention that "any one of them [eggs] has the possibility of someday becoming a human being." This no doubt led some girls to wonder exactly how that could happen, but The Story of Menstruation has a more important agenda – cleanliness, and the demonization of PMS. Shattering the myth that bathing is prohibited during "those days", our Disneyfied menstruating heroine spends ample time in the shower or at her vanity, for as the motherly narrator proclaims, "it's smart to keep looking smart." Exercise is encouraged, and though riding downhill on a bike wearing a mini-skirt is acceptable, dancing the jitterbug (with a boy no less) is right out. The film likens getting emotionally upset to catching a cold, and both are strongly cautioned against. The latter can be avoided by eating right and getting plenty of sleep, while the cure for teary outbursts is to simply stop feeling sorry for yourself. (Why more women don't heed this sage advice is a mystery to me.) Like all good health- and sex-ed films of the 40s and 50s, Disney's The Story of Menstruation gingerly tiptoes around its topic, turning a perfectly normal maturation process into a matter of hygiene and mental health. (Remember girls, look good, smell good, and always be happy!) Yet these films were part and parcel of the cultural hegemony of white America in the 50s, which, in the interest of breeding social conformity, emphasized cleanliness, godliness, and of course blandliness. As the great Joel Robinson once said, "feelings are for ethnic people."