He Said / She Said

By all outward appearances, 2005's Rules of Dating comes across as yet another in a long line of quirky but amusing Korean rom-coms. From the playfully cute poster, to the film's opening shot of an attractive couple sitting on a park bench beneath the lush splendor of autumnal trees (a de facto standard in contemporary Korean romances), all signs indicate that we are about to see "this year's My Sassy Girl". That is, until we hear the opening line, where the man turns towards the woman, looks into her eyes and asks, "Are you wet?" The sexual candor of the opening moments sets the stage for a film that can hardly be considered rom-com, or even rom-dram. Rules of Dating is something entirely different — an occasionally humorous but somewhat provocative essay on sexual politics and gender inequality in contemporary South Korea that still manages to be romantic, but in an uncomfortable way. It's Hong Sang-soo by way of Nora Ephron, with a touch of David Mamet thrown in for good measure. [NB: Rules of Dating is a difficult film to discuss without giving away some plot details, so be warned that some spoilers follow.] Kang Hye-jung (the female lead in Oldboy) plays Hong, a twenty-seven year-old student teacher who begins working for Yoo-rim (Park Hae-il, Jealousy is My Middle Name), an English teacher at an inner-city high school. (That she is older than Yoo-rim already casts her in a suspicious light, and she is asked to account for her post-collegiate years.) Immediately smitten by her, it's not long before Yoo-rim is pressuring her to go out drinking after work, even though she is engaged to be married, and he is in the sixth year of a relationship. Yoo-rim's emotional maturity is on par with the pubescent boys he teaches, and his machismo swagger and phony bravado is undermined by an irritating boyish charm. After several bottles of soju, Yoo-rim suggests the two of them enter into a sexual relationship — no love, no emotion, just screwing. What begins as blatant sexual harassment ultimately ends as date rape, and it is from here that the film begins to tread on very thin ice as it follows the complicated relationship that ensues between Yoo-rim and Hong. It's a contentious premise, but unlike the misogynistic fantasies of Kim Ki-duk, director Han Jae-rim uses their story to offer a critique of societal double standards when it comes to affaires de coeur. In the game of he said/she said, it is the man who invariably emerges as the victor, as we learn when we hear of Hong's past relationship with an older, married man — a scandalous affair in which she was accused of being a psychotic stalker — a false charge that left her both ostracized and traumatized. That her lover's story (told for reasons of self-preservation) was accepted without question seems indicative of the problem of disparity between the sexes in modern day Korea. For though things are changing (rapidly, some might say), South Korean women are still feeling the effects of a Confucian patriarchy that stems all the way back to the 14th century. Yoo-rim's discovery of Hong's past has a (somewhat) profound effect on him, though by this point it's too late. The parallels between Hong's past and present are dangerously obvious, but can she do anything to prevent a repeat of the scorn and humiliation she suffered? It's here that the film turns into Mamet-lite — think Oleanna, but far more superficial. It's a grand third act that is unfortunately marred by an improbable (but crowd-pleasing) epilogue that lessens the impact of the social critique. Personal reaction to the film will no doubt be influenced by where you stand on sexual politics — is Hong calculating and vindictive, or are her actions more than justified?  With its awkward relationships and flawed male characters, Rules of Dating is the first Korean film I've come across that appears to have been influenced by Hong Sang-soo. Yet unlike Hong's minimalistic, astute portraits, director Han Jae-rim tells his story within a traditional  narrative framework, utilizing conventions of the romantic comedy/melodrama. His characters lack the naturalism of Hong's — Yoo-rim feels like a scripted character. The shaky, hand-held camerawork seems a tad overdone, but the use of jump-cuts within scenes (ranging from mere seconds to several minutes) is an effective device that is more functional than stylistic. The film's real strength lies in its two lead actors. Park Hae-il makes a wonderful slimeball, and fans of Jealousy is My Middle Name will be amazed at the transformation. Kang Hye-jung, no longer the doe-eyed youngster she was in Oldboy, is remarkable as Hong, whose emotional range in the film couldn't be any wider. Like Moon So-ri, she has the ability to reveal so much yet at the same time keep just enough hidden. (She will next be seen in a lead role in Pen-Ek Ratanaruang's upcoming Invisible Waves, playing against Tadanobu Asano.) Rules of Dating, while flawed, is still an impressive debut feature that came out in a year full of disappointments. Controversial, but not exceedingly so, it's an unromantic romance that isn't afraid to take an honest look at the darker side of sex and relationships, including date rape, sexual harassment, stalking, and invasion of privacy. Neither feminist diatribe nor myopic male fantasy, it's situated somewhere in the middle. Though it will no doubt be offensive to some, it clearly doesn't take sides, and provides no easy answers to the difficult questions it raises.

Comments

[nkw88]

I have never thought that this film was influenced by Hong Sang-Soo or was Hong-esque.
Rather, the sexual candor can be related to 'The Story of Marriage' (Kim Ui Seok,1992), the first Korean romantic comedy.
The sexual candor of this let some think this film is a sex comedy.
The sexual candor of 'Rules of Dating' and 'The Story of Marriage' is an antidote to the obsession
of purity in Kwak Jae Yong films - 'My Sassy Girl' and 'Classic'.

Even some Hollywood romantic comedies do not include the sexual candor. Meg Ryan-Tom Hanks films, written by Nora Ephron, are a typical case.

[Filmbrain]

I felt that the dynamic between the couple was very similar to the type of relationships we've seen in several of Hong's films, though (as I said in the review) it was burdened by a mainstream storytelling that Hong tends to avoid.

Many (most?) Korean romantic comedy/dramas are usually either situated around hyper-cuteness, or some disease or other affliction. Unlike the serious (and troubling) portraits of marriage we've seen in films like A Good Lawyer's Wife or Happy End, Rules of Dating is one of the few recent (i.e., post-Hong) films I can think of that paints men in similar strokes to films like Oh Soo-jung!, Woman is the Future of Man, etc.

[Adam]

I think there's room in RULES OF DATING for many routes of intertextuality, Hong being one of them. I'm glad NKW88 brought up MARRIAGE STORY, since those of us non-Koreans reliant on what's made available to us in the limited screenings of pre-1996 South Korean films we have access to are likely to miss the impact of that particular film, a film I greatly await the eventual DVD release of (if ever).

As I talk about in my SA-KWA review, there are a significant number of South Korean films that address a Hong-ian discomfort, a Hong-ian disgust, within romantic relationships. (I'll call it Hong-ian because he seems to highlight this expertly (more subtle in its portrayal than obnoxious and hyperbolic) and, well, I just like the way the word "Hong-ian" rolls of my mental tongue.) Films such as this one you review here, Kim Eung-su's films (DESIRE, WAY TO GO, ROSE), SA-KWA, and (as you mentioned, Filmbrain) JEALOUSY IS MY MIDDLE NAME are examples. But even more so, films that deal with this same subtle discomfort and disgust in everyday relationships can be added to the list, such as THIS CHARMING GIRL and HOST & GUEST, the latter getting its well-deserved North American premiere in Seattle. Let's not forget that the 'friendships' and colleageal relationships in Hong's films are just as awkwardly paced as his romantic ones.

This willingness to dig into the muck of the awkward of everyday with everywoman and man is what I enjoy so much about South Korean Cinema and what keeps me coming back to it.

[Filmbrain]

This willingness to dig into the muck of the awkward of everyday with everywoman and man is what I enjoy so much about South Korean Cinema and what keeps me coming back to it.

Yes...that's absolutely right. It's just sad that each year fewer films seem to be interested in doing that.

In your Sa-kwa review, you bring up an excellent point about how Rules of Dating isn't complicit with its characters, unlike films like Plastic Tree. It is for this reason as well that I sense a Hong-ian (yeah, does roll off the tongue nicely) influence.

[tdc]

I think Han Jae-Rim is wise enough to be good at both sides of social criticism and entertainment.
Now he is making 2nd feature "A Wonderful World". Song Kang-Ho will play protagonist who is not only living petty civil life but also being an ordinarily gangster.

[Peter Nellhaus]

Another film to look forward too. I should be seeing Jealousy is my Middle Name on DVD in a few days. By the way, I saw the trailer for the U.S. remake of Il Mare. Not only does The Lake House look like a shot by shot remake, the trailer features the screenwriter David Auburn's name, almost stating that this is his original work.