Sometimes a lighthouse is just a lighthouse. . .

File under: two irretrievable hours of life.

Filmbrain has never really cared much for the films of Jane Campion. With the possible exception of her first theatrical feature, Sweetie, all of her films are filled with particularly simple feminist rhetoric. The male-female dynamic is always the same, and it's a tired, insulting argument that we've seen hundreds of times before. Campion should probably pay closer attention to her peers (e.g., Claire Denis, Deepa Mehta, Marina de Van) who have evolved from the base position that man are nothing more than insensitive predators. Whereas her previous films earned her praise and some awards, her last film, In the Cut, was almost universally panned.

Filmbrain did not imagine it would be that awful. But it is. Campion seems to think that having Meg Ryan and Mark Ruffalo spout a lot of quasi-pornographic dialog will result in an edgy, erotic thriller. But it doesn't. The film is pretty much on par with something you'd find Saturday night on Cinemax.

Then there is Campion's complete lack of subtlety, which is more than a bit insulting. To wit: Meg Ryan stumbles upon a man getting a blowjob in the basement of a bar. She watches with equal part disgust and fascination. Cut to the next scene -- Meg teaching a college literature course. On the blackboard, a huge red ejaculating penis lighthouse. Filmbrain should have trusted his instincts and pressed STOP at this point. Instead, he endured 110 more minutes of this. Let his suffering be your salvation. Avoid this film at all costs.

Comments

[JoJo the Chimp]

JoJo loathed "The Piano" within the first five minutes, and could watch no more. Were we expected to feel *any* sympathy for a woman who was so self-indulgent that even having a daughter wouldn't induce her to break her voluntary silence? Also, Holly Hunter looks like an ant.